Tuesday, December 31, 2013

One of those days...

There are times, not many but there are times when you do some of the dumbest things.

I like to blame the disease in cases like this. Everything started out fine today. Till I was sweeping out my truck. I have a shop vac and I get so tired of those wheels coming off.

Every time I pick it up, one, two, sometimes three wheels come off. I fixed that. I got out my super duper gorilla glue. That stuff will stick to anything and once it's on there ain't no getting it off.

Things were going well. All glued up, I was done sweeping, so I just left it sit and so it would set up good and proper.

Sam and I had a couple of things to do, and when we got back I thought I'll put the shop vac back. It has to be set up by now.

It was. Now comes the part where "things happen". Somehow some of the glue had went from the wheel housing, to the wheel, to the floor.

It was stuck like like Chuck to the garage floor. Three out of four wheels. Could have been worse, could have been all four.

And when they say gorilla glue with work, they mean it. There was no moving the thing. Wouldn't budge an inch. So...I figure I would take a hammer and tap each wheel.

Break it loose, if you will. I suppose this is the part where I don't realize the difference between a tap, and a whack.

I got them loose but not before breaking the one wheel off. So now I have a tripod shopvac.

And that all happened before 10:00am. I can't wait to see what the rest of the day brings...

My Reflections of 2013 on Memory People

As we close out on 2013, it's times like these I wish I could remember the things we accomplished here on Mp. I know there were many, cause there always is.

I think of the ones who passed, the families they left behind. I think of the people who found Mp and have been helped in one way or the other.

But most of all I wonder what 2014 will bring? How many more will find us and be helped and Supported through this journey? 

Without each of you, Mp would not exist. Every time you think about how Mp has helped you, perhaps in your deepest, darkest hour, it is indeed because of the wonderful people here who understand what we do and reach out to help one another.

Phyllis June and I sincerely hope the new year brings you joy, happiness, and most of all peace.

If you are planning on celebrating the new year coming in tonight, as always remember your loved ones.

Even a slight deviation from the routine can cause chaos with them.

Monday, December 30, 2013

New Years Eve. One more Holiday

One more holiday. That's what I see. Get through this one and I'm good for a while. But there are many patients who have no idea the celebration of a new year is tomorrow.

Be mindful of your loved one. They likely have no idea what is going on if you have any kind of gathering planned that they will be a part of.

New Years Eve is known for noise. The one thing patients tend to get stressed over. We haven't went out for New Years Eve in years.

I always call it amateur night. There are people out there on the road who purposely see how drunk they can get, and yet get behind the wheel of a car.

Be safe. Party responsibly. But most important, keep your loved one in mind. Even the smallest deviation in routine can be devastating for a dementia patent.


Sunday, December 29, 2013

Memory People changes lives, one person at a time...

I am so overwhelmed by the comments. This site can be life changing. Some say that's a pretty brash thing to claim.

All you have to do is read our posts. Indeed there are the heartbreaking ones. The ones that we know all we can offer is a word of compassion.

But just knowing that you are not alone in the journey means everything. To the patient, to the family, to the caregiver.

I knew this Mp would be a success simply because of the need. I had a need to find answers. Answers now, not two hours from now, or a day from now.

And even though we never claim to have all the answers here, you will get someone who is either going through the same thing, or has gone through what you are experiencing with your loved one.

Just by sharing our experiences opens up a whole new world to someone who comes here for the first time confused, stressed out, beaten down, and at their wits end.

We don't cure anything. We don't tell you that this disease will get better. It won't. It will slowly yet surly take your loved ones mind, then body and soul.

But isn't it better hearing the truth, then someone just telling you things to pacify you? Telling someone the truth is always better then telling them what they want to hear.

We do tell "fiblets", little white lies to our loved ones. But we need to protect them. And telling them something that they simply can't change and that will devastate them is not the answer.

Telling you husband his sister died, when he don't even know who is wife is, is no good for anyone. Plus you would indeed have to repeat this to them day in and day out.

Telling them "Yes, we will come and take you home", if they indeed are in a facility is fine. You have to remember as soon as you hang up the phone, that conversation is long gone from their memory.

They will ask you to come and get them again, but they won't say "You told me yesterday you would come and take me home".

They simply don't have the ability to remember that, so why not tell them what they want to hear???

I am so proud of what we have accomplished here on Mp. We have touched so many lives. And just by sharing with one another.

This is not rocket science, yet many other social networking sties could learn from us.

We simply are the best online support group on the net. And I am so glad each of you have found us...

Memory People welcomes 5000th member

Today we mark a very important milestone, for all of us here on Memory People.

We are now over 5,000 members and growing everyday, every hour, sometimes every minute.

Some will say “It’s all about the numbers for Rick Phelps”, and it is.

Without the numbers, the members here, Mp would not be the site it is. I would still to this day be sitting in front of my computer looking for somewhere to find answers.

We have that here at Mp. We don’t have all the answers, we never claim to. But I can tell you this, what you get here is a large dose of reality.

Sprinkled in with some common sense, and topped off with some put your big boy pants on.. because we can’t fix this.

Having dementia of any kind is horrific. Being a caregiver/family member who has to watch their loved one slip away a little at time is indeed horrific also.

I have long said one of the hardest things to do is to lose your mind, and all the time know exactly what is happening.

The only thing that keeps me sane is my Faith, my Family, and Memory People.

Memory People is not about Rick Phelps. It never was, it never will be. It’s about the members here who pour their heart and soul out to each other.

It’s about knowing what is happening and what is coming. It's about having a plan. About helping one another through unbelievably hard times.

The bad days. The hallucinations, the wandering of patients in the middle of the night.

It’s about Sundowners. It's about losing your loved one a little more everyday.

Memory People is about these and so many other things. But most of all it’s about you. Every single one of you are just as important as the next.

It doesn’t matter if you were here in the beginning or found us yesterday. Everyone here is important to us.

Where could you find a site that asks of nothing, yet offers everything?

Where can you get answers to what you ask, not something you want to hear?

We are here for each other 24/7, 365 days a year. It doesn't matter if you post several times a day, or you have never posted at all.

Some get Support by just reading our comments. No requirements. We encourage debate, but respective debate.

No one has all the answers, let alone all the right answers. But we go through this together, as it should be.

We celebrate not the fact that we have over 5,000 members now. We celebrate the fact that what that number represents is the number who have found us, and by their own admission have had a life changing experience since being here.

We are sorry for the reason you are here. But we are glad you are no longer alone in this journey.

Thank you for being here. I knew this is what I needed, and I knew there had to be many others that needed this also. Each one of you has turned a dream into a reality, for us all...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Will I Forget You

Will I forget you? Never. You hear couples tell one another this all the time. We will grow old together and will always be there for each other. 

Try having dementia. That puts a whole new spin on "I will always love you", or "I will never forget you".

Whoever thought that after decades of being with just one person that you would or could never forget them, never had in mind dementia.

I think about this everyday. I worry about it, I stress over it. Think of it as being at the airport telling your loved one good-bye, knowing you will never, ever see them again.

That is what it's like. The worry, the constant worry of when will that day come. In time with this disease you lose everything.

This is because dementia slowly but surly takes your memories. I have Early On-Set Alzheimers, so they tell me.

"They" also so it progresses far more faster than Alzheimers. Couple of questions here. Who is "they" and who told "them" this?

This could very well be true. But don't go citing statistics to me. That's another thing that is done with this disease that is bogus.

Not until recently as the last year have they even been putting cause of death as dementia on a death certificate. So any statistics anyone gives me are in no way meaning and simply don't hold water as far as I'm concerned.

Just the very term "Early On-Set" is in itself misleading. Here's how once again, "they" came up with that term.

If you are 65 years or older and are diagnosed with Alzheimer's, that indeed is what it is, Alzheimer's.

Now if you are younger than 65 and diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it is indeed Early On-Set. And just by calling it Early On-Set, "they" concur it progresses faster.

I have yet to read in any medical journal, or hear anyone with any medical background i.e.: Neurologists, explain to me why the difference.

My take on it is simple. I have much more time to worry about losing things by being diagnosed at 57, and having had memory problems for five year prior to that, then someone who is diagnosed at 70.

It's not rocket science. It's simple math. The stress alone will drive you crazy as in worry about when you will forget about your loved ones.

I don't know what made me think of this, could it be it's all I think about? Perhaps. Course it's happening to me and yet, "they", whoever "they" are no better...