Friday, January 10, 2014

TGIF



TGIF...we all know what that means. The beginning of the weekend. The time we can enjoy a day or two from the hustles and bustles of work, traffic, just the stress that occurs monday through friday.

I used to live for fridays. Now and for some time now it's just another day. When you have dementia, everyday runs into the next.

The only day of the week I am aware of what day it is, is saturday. And that's because Phyllis June is gone for 24hrs.

Even then somehow I get confused on what day it is. Dementia robs you of knowing what day it is, what time it is, even what year it is.

This disease attacks your frontal lobe of the brain first where all your short term memory is stored. When you don't have the ability to remember things that just happen, or were just told to you, being glad it's friday is no longer an issue.

You have to have a reference point to understand what day it is, what time it is, etc. I try to explain to people when you read a map it makes no sense to you what so ever if you don't know where you are.

You have to know where you are, to figure out where you are wanting to go, with or without a map. That same thing happens with dementia.

If I don't know or have a reference as to what day it is, anything I come up with is a sheer guess. Tuesdays mean as much to me as Thursdays do.

Mondays could very easily be Wednesdays to me, if I don't ask constantly what day is it?

Everyone of us start our day out by remembering what we had planned. Dementia patients can't and don't do that. You know you have to get the kids ready for school cause it's Monday.

Or you know you can't have anything planned tonight cause you have company coming over for dinner. Little things like this you know and understand cause you remember it.

It's in your short term memory. We don't have that ability. So when you show someone with dementia how to do something, chances are they won't remember it, or even that you showed them.

When you tell them it's friday, you will likely tell them over and over again. Cause they won't remember it. And all our days are the same, cause even if it is a special occasion someone better tell us.

We won't remember, we can't. We don't have the ability, we simply don't. So the next time you think your loved one is not listening to you, or is ignoring you, chances are they hear you but they can't remember what you were saying just ten minutes from now.

It's a horrible way to go through life. Not having any short term memory. And then in time you will have to deal with losing you long term memory as well.

The disease progresses. That is a fact. Live in the moment. For none of us know what the very next moment has in store for us. Don't worry about getting dementia if it's in your family.

You could of course. But you could also get hit by a truck today. Worry about getting something is the same as carrying around an umbrella everyday cause it may rain.

Live for today, right now, right this moment. It's all we are sure of. It's the only thing that we can try to control, what is going on in ones life right this moment.

You can't expect to control things that are months, or years away from happening if they happen at all. I could spend my days worrying about what is going to happen.

I choose to live for right now. Deal with the problems I have today, right this minute. Not dwell over something that may not even happen....