Monday, March 2, 2015

Dementia, Regret, and Grief

People are always wondering why they have the feeling of regret when their love one passes.
Everyone loses a loved one goes through this. It is not unusual to ask yourself "could I have done more?", "what if I had done this, or done that differently?"
Questioning if you did enough for your love one is also part of the grieving process. This happens all too often anytime their love one. passes. 
It certainly doesn't have to be from dementia related issue. If your loved one had been suffering from terminal cancer for instance, these doubts and feelings of regret also happen.
There are seven stages of grief:
Shock and Denial
Pain and Guilt
Anger and Bargaining 
Depression, Relfection, and Loneliness 
The Upward Turn
Reconstruction and Working Through
Acceptance and Hope
There are many different ways of grieving. Some people grieve for days, weeks, months, and even years.
The losses we have here on Mp, are devastating. There isn't a that day that goes by that we don't lose two, three, even sometimes more patients here.
We tell our members all the time after suffering a loss of a loved one, sometimes this is when you need support the most.
Many times one of our members lose a loved one, the first thing they do is thank us for what we have done for them and then talk about leaving Mp.
All of this is fine, but no one ever needs to leave Mp. You must always do what is right for you. But leaving a support sites like Mp, because your love one has passed away is never good in my opinion.
Like I said, the grieving process starts immediately after one passes and many times that is when you need support the most.
So if you find yourself questioning "did I do it enough?", Take some time, all the time you need, but we will be here to support you through the grieving process as well.
Once you are a member here, you are welcome here forever. The support process we offer doesn't stop after the loss of a love one.
You have simply moved from the caregiver role, to an advocate role. When you are dealing with a disease where there are no survivors loss is unavoidable.